Learning to Love Yourself
EPUB EBook by Gay Hendricks
EBook DescriptionI got this book under the premise that I keep ending up in relationships where I can't get enough love from the other person, so I must need to learn to get enough love from myself instead. Learning to Love Yourself EPUB EBook Why else would I keep repeating this pattern? So, I need to learn to love myself, but how? Poof! Here's a book with that exact title, by the author who changed my life with The Big Leap. I'll take it!
One big idea here is that resistance is the source of most of our problems. If we can stop fighting our feelings and just feel them in our bodies, everything stops being so constricted and starts to work. This seems to be true, based on my experiences.
On top of being afraid of our feelings, we learned somewhere along the way (probably many places along the way) that we're unlovable. Instead,
"I have learned to see the world the way it isn't.
I have done this for my survival.
I am now interested in much more than survival.
I can see it the way it is.
There is nothing outside myself that can save me.
I have everything I need inside me.
All the love I have been searching for is here within me.
I demand it from others because I am unwilling to give it to myself.
I can give it to myself.
My very nature is love, so there is no need to search for it, no need to work at it.
Love is the only thing I need to change.
I am now willing to love myself." (p. 13)
p. 18 "Love whatever you can from wherever you are." For example, he was beating himself up about being sick. He had to love himself for hating himself for being sick before he could love himself for being sick. In fact, all it takes is being willing to love yourself for whatever you're doing in the moment. You don't have to try, just acknowledge your reality and be willing to experience loving yourself in it.
p. 39 We get scared to create, love or be our biggest, selfiest selves, because we got burned in the past and overgeneralized those situations to mean we should avoid our passion all the time.
p. 40 "On the good days we hum with creativity. Things work, we feel good. On the bad days we bump along, one foot on the brakes, in thrall to old pain and the expectation of disapproval. I imagine this explains why writers and artists are notoriously difficult to live with. they are riding the edge of the energy, working the territory where the wave meets the rock. It is rough country there, and their lives are a testimony to its roughness." Yes!!! That's why my work feels so hard.
p. 44 Why do we resist our feelings? "We think, If I let myself feel my fear, I would never stop trembling. There seems something bottomless about it." ... "If I ever let myself really feel my sadness, I'd never stop crying." Afraid it will swallow us up, but if we just stopped resisting and felt it, it would pass through and be gone soon. Yes! The summer I rotted in Edinboro, I spent the whole summer terrified of my fear. When I finally let it out, it took maybe half an hour and was way less horrible than all the fighting.
p. 57 "Adult life is a process of becoming a guardian angel to ourselves."
p. 63 "Be careful not to use reasons to tell yourself why you're lovable. It is never satisfying, because you are using reason to fight reason… The alternative is to go right past reason and love yourself for being the way you are. Simply love yourself, regardless of reason. Love yourself for hating yourself, for not being able to love yourself. Love yourself for all the crazy reasons you don't love yourself."
p. 82 "Relationships work when each person is willing ot see that each is an equal creator of all aspects of the relationship. Relationships don't work when anybody takes less than one- EPUBhundred-percent responsibility. Learning to love yourself in a relationship is seeing that you will create the very situations you need that allow you to experience the parts of yourself you cannot love. By doing that you will eventually have the opportunity to love all of yourself. Then, as if by magic, you will find yourself completely loved by others." Like this book? Read online this: Love Ain't Nothing but Sex Misspelled / The Beast That Shouted Love at the Heart of the World (Edgeworks, #4), Learning Cities, Learning Regions, Learning Communities.
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