Fischer / Spassky

EPUB EBook by Richard Roberts

EBook Description

To be completely honest, I had no idea that the esteemed Mr. Fischer / Spassky EPUB EBook Fischer died about a week prior to my recent reading of this book (Jan 18, 2008); download; this information played absolutely no part in my second reading of this chronicle of the ‘legendary battle of wits’ fought on Icelandic soil for the World Chess Championship.

I was going to start the review with the completely accurate statement that Bobby Fischer is the biggest piece of sniveling $hit in the world.In observance of how unreasonably caustic or irreverent this might sound so close on the heels of his demise, I’d like to correct that proposal to ‘Bobby Fischer WAS the biggest piece of sniveling $hit in the world’.This isn’t entirely based on his well- EPUBknown views; his declarations that Russians are a bunch of sneaky bastards, his rampant anti-semitism (despite his own obvious jewishness), his down-with-America diatribes of late while calling for the death of President Bush, his egomaniacal bumblef*ckery, the fact he has a child which he was stupid enough to bestow with the retarded name Jinky Ong (not a joke), his groveling to foreign embassies to evade extradition while on the lam…let’s face it, pretty much everything about the guy’s life was absolutely pathetic.But still, none of this matters much; what makes this guy sink to depths below that of fossilized trilobite $hit are his antics in the Chess Match Of The Century, which due to his completely childish and ridiculous behavior (calling nimrodery ‘eccentric’ is folly) became less of a Match Of The Century and more or less a complete frickin farce on par with the Billie Jean King/Bobby Riggs debacle.

Compiled of New York Times reporting on the match, the book offers some background before getting into the thick of the shenanigans.Iceland, which will become the site of the contest, is given a flattering introduction by some lady; including some historic details and a brief description of the present living conditions of its people.A second scribe reports his efforts to learn the fundamentals of the game to enable him to try covering the match; here the movement of the pieces, chess notation, and the general rules of the game are outlined, in an effort to impart the NY Times readership with the necessary knowledge to follow the forthcoming updates.And lastly, before delving into the thick of the greatest clusterf*ck ever to befall the game, the history of modern competitive chess is touched upon, with a chronology of the previous champions, some highlights on the formation of the International Chess Federation and their rules concerning candidate to challenge the reigning Champion and the rules for tournament play.

Minus the chessmen, the rest of the book centers on a rather small group of integral characters, all pulling towards their respective goals:

Bobby Fischer: The epitome of everything that could possibly be wrong with the human condition; allegedly, a decent chess player as well.

Boris Spassky: The strong, reserved, stoic, badass beset by the unbelievably moronic whims of Fischer and his financial backers.

Max Euwe: Former World Champion and head of the FIDE, the twisted regime in charge of the tournament that for some reason only encourages Fischer’s dunderheadedness (probably to promote the game with a ‘colorful’ iconic figure).For the record, Dr. Euwe is a brain-damaged imbecile, and throughout the story he confirms this slanderous opinion.

Lt. Colonel Edmund Edmonson: A complete and utter nincompoop that panders to every demand of the megalomaniacal Fischer.When you look at the actions taken by the ‘colonel’ you have to realize he must have earned his rank at the Colonel Sanders School of Military Inefficiency.Just hearing about him bend over backwards to accommodate Bobby and to obediently salivate like Fischer’s goddam lapdog is the most disgusting description of a human ever put to paper.Taking his nature into account as presented in this historic record, I can also only imagine this mollycoddling asslicker trying to negotiate with surrendering hostiles during his glory days as a Colonel.
Colonel Skidmark: “You are surrounded, throw down your firearms and come out with your hands up immediately!!”
Enemy: “Kiss my white honky ass.We’ll come out whenever the f*ck we want, and we’re going to keep our weapons so we can shove them up your flabby ass.”
Colonel Skidmark: “Allrighty then.But please don’t fire on our position when you finally decide to come out.And please lube the barrel of your gun prior to sodomizing my white ass.”
Enemy: “Blow me.You suck.”
This isn’t very promising.It’s even more disheartening that the military might have conferred some sort of officer rank upon this worthless piece of dik-dik dung.

Lastly, Lothar Schmid: The well-meaning referee that accomplishes little in trying to bring some semblance of righteousness to the match.

This about sums up the cast involved in perhaps the most misunderstood event in modern history, the type of thing that people refer to as some great event which, in reality, was about as disgusting as a post-Super Bowl bowel movement.While the event did bring chess into the spotlight for however brief a time, the disappointing fact that the game’s international regulating body allowed this contest to become such a fiasco should be generally disturbing to even the casual chess player.The sequence of events leading up to and during the Match are completely asinine, somehow the media was able to spin this in a positive light long enough to keep the public’s interest, but that’s probably due more to the appeal of failure on a grand scale than any subtle appreciation for the noble game.The current Champion, 32-year old Boris Spassky, a reporter from Leningrad, sits awaiting a challenger, to defend the title he won in 1969, and the selection process for a suitable opponent begins, as he must defend the title in 1972.Three long years of this arduous tournament process begins, and so does the silliness that pervades the rest of this account.Had Spassky played anyone else, the book would probably be able to be bound with a staple, however, Bobby Fischer’s meteoric rise in the chess world intervenes, causing this to become a certifiable saga.

At this point, all I can offer are the despicable events which follow and are sure to baffle all.
1) 1967, the hunt is on, to select a challenger for reigning Champion Tigran Petrosian.Bobby Fischer, displaying his usual brilliance, walks out during the Interzonal stage of play, demanding to be left in peace.All is still right with the world at this time, and they tournament continues, with Spassky eventually becoming the challenger and defeating Petrosian to become the new Champion in 1969.

2) Spassky can rest easy while the selection process begins anew; the first round in the selection process is the Zonal Tournaments, each Zone representing a geographic area.In Zone 5, the USA, the best are culled and put to the test.All but, you guessed it, Bobby Fischer, who apparently has been in seclusion jacking off goats since his last tantrum in ‘67.

3) With Zonal play in the US completed, Colonel Dingleberry steps in, declaring that the USA won’t be properly represented without Fischer, and embarks on a twofold mission: to convince Fischer to play again, and to get him enlisted in the Interzonal Tournament, despite that little detail that he failed to formally qualify.

4) After being presented a large enough bribe, the FIDE agrees to allow Fischer into the Interzonals so long as the guys who ranked 3rd through 8th in Zone 5 are willing to step side for Fischer.Again, after enough bribe money is collected and properly routed, these dudes all step down.

5) In Interzonal play (1970), Fischer handily defeats all opposition.

6) The Candidate Knockout Matches begin in 1971, and thus begins Fischer’s reign of childish terror.Prior to his match with Russian Candidate Mark Taimanov, Fischer boldly declares he will not play unless spectators are barred from the venue.The Russians state the obvious, that this concession would be completely contrary to international rules, and Taimanov should not be forced to play under altered conditions.With his head firmly up his ass, FIDE head Dr. Euwe declares that Taimanov will be replaced if he does not comply.The Russians state that they will completely withdraw if the FIDE is going to continue making provisions, but end up dropping this threat when it becomes apparent that Euwe is more concerned with Fischer’s eligibility than with the governing rules of his organization. Fischer wins 6 straight against the flustered Taimanov, a historic feat, completely crushing an opponent 6-0 at this level.

7) The Candidate Knockouts continue, with Fischer again sweeping his opponent 6-0.This time it is Danish grandmaster Bent Larsen who succumbs to ill health and the circus-like affairs.

8) Fischer finally suffers single-games defeats and settles for draws, but easily conquers Petrosian the former Champion that Spassky took the crown from.Fischer is now the Challenger to the throne.

9) During the tedious site-selection process, Fischer stipulates that he doesn’t want just his share of the purse, but a percent of the profits from the tournament as well. Belgrade abandons their offer of hosting half the match due to Fishers's ‘financial chicanery’

10) Iceland winds up with the burden of hosting the whole event in the aftermath.Fischer immediately complains that their resources to provide television coverage is inadequate, even though he’ll later demand the media leave anyway……

10) Wow, out of room already, before the match even starts.Believe me, it doesn't get any better.Bobby just keeps at it, making a mockery of the whole thing.

Like this book? Read online this: Fischer , Fischer's Choice.

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